I started writing this before my family woke up Christmas morning… wow, I need better time management! Ha ha ha!
This Christmas morning, I’m sitting in the living room, waiting for my family to wake up, and I’m hit with a wave of gratitude. First of all, after the year the globe has had, and America has had… I’m grateful for LOTS of things. But today especially I’m thinking about family oriented Christmas things. My husband was raised a Jehovah’s Witness, so he has no holiday traditions. I was raised Catholic so I have lots. As a couple, we haven’t really started crafting our own Christmas traditions other than I buy one new ornament. Our first Christmas together we had a silly, secular Christmas with inexpensive presents and a lot of alcohol with work friends. Over the he next several years, doing anything really depended on if we were working or not. We both worked at a restaurant open on Christmas those years.
Last year, with Deedee being 2, we used the excuse that she wasn’t making concrete memories quite yet to not do anything elaborate on December 25th. We did minor, toddler safe decorations and opened presents from out of town family as they arrived, so the whole of December was special for her. This year we decided to save presents for the 25th and bought a few bigger items for Deedee ourselves. My former JW husband has been so, so sweet to watch. His excitement over her presents – in some cases he’s more excited than she – has been priceless. I know all parents must love watching their kids opening presents, but it hits me in the emotions twice. Once for the joy on my child’s face, another for the joy on my husband’s since Christmas in general is still so new to him. JW’s are Christian, but they don’t celebrate anything Jesus doesn’t outright tell his followers to (Passover supper just before Easter is it). Not only do they not recognize birthdays, they also don’t believe Jesus was born in the winter anyway, so December 25th is just another day.
I love that my husband finds the non-religious traditions of decorations not just worth doing, but enjoyable. He doesn’t show signs of pulling a complete 180 from no Christmas to over the top decorating, and for that I am grateful, too. I love a simple, sentimentally decorated tree (half of the ornaments for our 3-foot, fiber optic tree are from my childhood), and simple outdoor lights, but have no desire to compete with neighbors for the highest electric bill.
Somehow giving Santa credit for anything this year didn’t come naturally to me, and obviously hubby has no frame of reference. So Santa still hasn’t been introduced as “real” in my house. He’s recognized thanks to TV, but he’s as “real” as talking animals, talking toys, and monsters. I’ve always been on the fence about Santa for my kids anyway. I managed to believe myself until I was 10 and felt significant betrayal when my mom confirmed there was no Santa after my 6 year old sister broke it to me. By Covid preventing mall Santas from doing the leg work of making him “real,” it would have been all on me to convince Deedee of his existence… and like I said, it didn’t come naturally. She’s 3 now, so I may have missed the window for introducing him at all, and I wonder if I am cheating her out of something special. Because if there’s no Santa, there probably shouldn’t be an Easter bunny or Tooth Fairy, either, right? Need to be consistent with the well-intentioned lies. I don’t know. Hubby doesn’t feel cheated by not having a Santa, but you can’t miss what you never had. The memory of hearing the surprise in my mom’s voice, “you mean my 10 year old still believes in Santa?” miiiiight be clouding any magical positive Santa memories – Elf on the Shelf was not a thing in the 80’s – I’d be interested to hear how other families introduce Santa. I just thought it would come naturally so I never had a plan.
So this started with gratitude, detoured a bit about Santa, but I want to end this with gratitude as well. Through everything this year has been… it has also been good to my family and for that I am truly thankful. I gave birth safely to a healthy, wonderful little girl. My husband’s restaurant has managed to thrive despite safety restrictions with a few marketing changes. I finished my bachelor’s degree. My toddler, while still not toilet trained, continuously grows in health, creativity, and intelligence – sometimes without any instruction or heavy encouragement, she just wants to learn! She’s also embraced her role as big sister and proves herself to be mommy’s little helper every day. I look to 2021 with hope and optimism and wish nothing but the best for everyone reading this. Thank you. The stay at home mom gig can be a little “adult-conversation-lonely,” so WordPress helps me feel connected.
Random SAHM Thoughts 