But Almost Don’t…
I didn’t have a dishwasher growing up. According to my dad we actually had 2: me and my sister. Ha ha haaa… Like many technology related goods and services, this tail-end Gen-Xer or first of the Millennials (I was born in 1980, so depending on the source defining it, I could belong to either cohort), had to bring it home myself, or wait until I moved out. At 21, I finally had a dishwasher!
I can’t remember if I’ve ever lived somewhere without a dishwasher since. The up/downsides of owning a dishwasher as I see it (with a focus on roommate living)
- A dishwasher is a good storage spot for dirties—out of sight and out of mind, and also out of smell! Until everything in the house is dirty and you’re eating off a Tupperware lid.
- A dishwasher is a good storage spot for clean dishes. Why bother unloading when you can just take out what you need—until the sink is full of dirties, and the washer is still half full of clean.
- When you realize you’ve done your roommate’s dishes consistently for weeks, passive aggressively going on dish-strike and hiding paper plates in your room will really teach them a lesson (provided they even notice).
- If food sticks to a pan, or you’re too lazy to completely scrape food off a dish, that first cycle acts as a distribution system. Now, each dish is sharing a small percentage of food particles, so the next wash cycle should do the trick and clean them all. Should. Third time’s a charm. Try to avoid this in homes that bill separately for water consumption and be prepared: someone’s bound to get stuck with a cold shower using this technique.
- Better safe than sorry and keep those not-dishwasher-safe dishes like color changing design coffee mugs in your room, because when a roommate ruins it, you may never know for sure if it was a well-intentioned mistake or a petty act of vandalism. My experience bets on vandalism.
Washing dishes—even while owning a dishwasher—was the most frequent fight topic my ex-husband and I ever had (until the divorce-worthy issues developed. Then those fight topics took over). I’m married again and I vowed to myself not to let dishes be a fight topic with him. Not to mention, hubby and I lived with roommates for 3 years while dating so we’ve both been the “bigger person” cleaning up after others and have vented to each other… so we already know how we feel on the matter.
Despite all internal mantras, “this really isn’t that hard,” “it’s a throw-back to your childhood and your parents are still together,” “he does so many other things it balances out,” I still find myself getting irrationally resentful from time to time… I do dishes a lot. But I’m the stay at home mom. I have more time to wash them. And hubby is a cook at a seafood restaurant and pulls double duty as dishwasher on slow nights. He cooks at home often, and some really fancy stuff. My point is, most people don’t relish doing at home what they have to do to pay the bills.
But then there’s the days that hubby steps in without dirty look, discussion, or being asked and does everything. The whole mound of dishes that has been accumulating for days while I was only washing 80% of the dirties for a week running. Then he cleans the whole kitchen, Deedee’s toy explosion in the living room, washes a load of linens, grabs the drill and puts another dent in renovations, tends to our toddler, makes a restaurant-worthy lunch and delivers it to me, all while I crank out a few college assignments, and all before he heads in to work a 10 hour shift. He’s no slouch at home, this is a partnership, not a 1950’s “he works, she cooks and cleans” setup. When I confess to feeling guilty about not doing more around the house, his reassurances are genuine… I’m in online college and caring for a toddler (and dog, but he’s fairly low maintenance).
Dishes are the worst chore… even with a dishwasher, but honestly it feels worse after having a dishwasher for so long. I think molding the habit to wash them more frequently will be good for me by introducing a much-needed routine into my lifestyle. Since they’re the only source of irrational, internal grumbles about my husband, I’m pretty thankful—it’s a reminder of just how good I have it. A daily chore that I won’t be able to hide not liking–but doing anyway–will set a good example for Deedee, and when she’s old enough to do chores, washing dishes is a good lesson in responsibility and I can start telling her that she’s the dishwasher so she can roll her eyes at me. Tradition.
Random SAHM Thoughts 